The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Malky on Tue 03 Apr 2012, 3:50 am

Do you mean a whorehouse?
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Skully on Tue 03 Apr 2012, 7:18 am

Nah cos your not really fuckimg them
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Sophiee on Fri 06 Apr 2012, 10:54 am

Looks like I'll be having sex on a less than weekly basis with Andy working away.
Me no likey.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Malky on Sat 07 Apr 2012, 12:26 am

Sophiee wrote:Looks like I'll be having sex on a less than weekly basis with Andy working away.
Me no likey.
I'll get Amy to send you an Ann Summers order form.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Sophiee on Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:16 am

I had so much sex this weekend.
Just sayin'.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by leeburgess on Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:17 am

Sophiee wrote:I had so much sex this weekend.
Just sayin'.

so much that cum was drippin off your toes?
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Sophiee on Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:20 am

BE GONE YOU PEST.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Jed on Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:37 am

Haven't had anything sat on my dick for too long. Single handedly lowering my university's highest sex rate in the UK it would seem.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Sophiee on Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:41 am

Lee Burgess is always available.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Jed on Tue 17 Apr 2012, 11:46 am

I know, he sent me a beautiful acceptance text to an offer for anal sex not long ago.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Sophiee on Tue 17 Apr 2012, 11:54 am

Butt secks.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Hobbsy on Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:28 pm

Sophiee wrote:Butt secks.

FTW
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Sophiee on Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:09 am

Eugh no.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Hobbsy on Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:12 am

All about the oral though Razz
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by aprilMCC on Fri 14 Sep 2012, 6:57 pm

How is it that I'm the compact-sized one yet when having sex in the back of a car I am still the only one who manages to get hurt? Someone explain this to me.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Malky on Sat 15 Sep 2012, 1:05 pm

Newton's laws of motion. The force of you being pumped gets transferred into yourself and means you're rattling about more uncontrollably than your counterpart. Reckon that's pretty concise.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by orwellaintdead on Sun 16 Sep 2012, 6:41 am

aprilMCC wrote:How is it that I'm the compact-sized one yet when having sex in the back of a car I am still the only one who manages to get hurt? Someone explain this to me.
Malky wrote:Newton's laws of motion. The force of you being pumped gets transferred into yourself and means you're rattling about more uncontrollably than your counterpart. Reckon that's pretty concise.
Surely depends who was on top? And how exactly were you hurt..?
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Malky on Sun 16 Sep 2012, 1:55 pm

orwellaintdead wrote:
aprilMCC wrote:How is it that I'm the compact-sized one yet when having sex in the back of a car I am still the only one who manages to get hurt? Someone explain this to me.
Malky wrote:Newton's laws of motion. The force of you being pumped gets transferred into yourself and means you're rattling about more uncontrollably than your counterpart. Reckon that's pretty concise.
Surely depends who was on top? And how exactly were you hurt..?
If you're gettin a richt gid rattlin', it doesn't really matter who's on top, you're probably gonna be moving a lot.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by ChumbaWumba on Sun 16 Sep 2012, 9:28 pm

Feel kinda bad for banana girl.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by leeburgess on Mon 17 Sep 2012, 12:17 am

banana girl?

oh, and good work April, crafty minx Wink
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by beth on Mon 17 Sep 2012, 12:39 am

You missed the horror that was banana girl? (Just putting the pictures in a spoiler 'cause I wish I never saw them, ranko.)
Spoiler:
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by orwellaintdead on Mon 17 Sep 2012, 2:31 am

Malky wrote:
orwellaintdead wrote:
aprilMCC wrote:How is it that I'm the compact-sized one yet when having sex in the back of a car I am still the only one who manages to get hurt? Someone explain this to me.
Malky wrote:Newton's laws of motion. The force of you being pumped gets transferred into yourself and means you're rattling about more uncontrollably than your counterpart. Reckon that's pretty concise.
Surely depends who was on top? And how exactly were you hurt..?
If you're gettin a richt gid rattlin', it doesn't really matter who's on top, you're probably gonna be moving a lot.
I suppose.. There may be extenuating circumstances we've not been informed of.. Kev linked to a certain video around March time.

beth wrote:You missed the horror that was banana girl? (Just putting the pictures in a spoiler 'cause I wish I never saw them, ranko.)
Spoiler:
I don't see the problem..? Wink
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by beth on Mon 17 Sep 2012, 3:43 am

See in the top picture, don't you guys think it looks a bit like it's just one giant banana, rather than two?
Gotta be sympathetic towards the girl I guess. Ann Summers can be expensive after all.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Malky on Mon 17 Sep 2012, 4:05 am

That lassie looks like an ex-flatmate of Amy's. She was a cunt, it'd be funny if it was.

Why would you take photos of yersel with a banana stuff up your fanny? Do what you want in your spare time, electric toothbrush up on yer clit, banana in the growler or a Sharpie up yer arse, but do you need to take photos?


Last edited by Malky on Mon 17 Sep 2012, 4:08 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by orwellaintdead on Mon 17 Sep 2012, 4:06 am

Yeah, but then there's the one in her mouth..
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

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