The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Malky on Sat 24 Dec 2011, 12:10 pm

Farting during sex is well fucking awkward.

e: unless you're into that but then you're a fuckin' weirdo if you do like it.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Charn on Sat 24 Dec 2011, 1:22 pm

Getting your phone out during, that's just more funny than awkward though!
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by ChumbaWumba on Sat 24 Dec 2011, 10:26 pm

My best mate rang me once while he was having sex in the early morning. He was pretty smashed and the conversation was literally 'LAD! Guess what's going down right now?!' followed by a lot of shouting and then he hung up lol.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by blissof89 on Sun 25 Dec 2011, 1:24 am

I was nobbing my ex in a train toilet and someone started banging on the door, that was slightly arkward.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by leeburgess on Sun 25 Dec 2011, 12:52 pm

pulling out to blood...

and to clarify:
it wasn't with hollie
she wasn't a virgin
it wasn't my dick bleeding
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Scott on Sun 25 Dec 2011, 8:48 pm

leeburgess wrote:pulling out to blood...

and to clarify:
it wasn't with hollie
she wasn't a virgin
it wasn't my dick bleeding

I've had that before, I slipped.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by kappa99 on Mon 26 Dec 2011, 1:47 am

ive jizzed blood a couple of times. Went to the docs thinkin i had caught somethin but apparently it can just happen....
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Hobbsy on Mon 26 Dec 2011, 5:08 am

Calling the girl the wrong name during sex haha
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by blissof89 on Mon 26 Dec 2011, 7:12 am

kapslock wrote:ive jizzed blood a couple of times. Went to the docs thinkin i had caught somethin but apparently it can just happen....

Shocked
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Pete on Mon 26 Dec 2011, 8:32 am

Having to go to the bathroom midsex to vomit and then coming back to attempt to carry on.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Charn on Mon 26 Dec 2011, 9:00 am

Pete wrote:Having to go to the bathroom midsex to vomit and then coming back to attempt to carry on.

Not even reassuring the other person they aren't the cause of your illness? slick! Razz
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by beth on Mon 26 Dec 2011, 10:08 am

It wasn't awkward exactly, but I once accidentally head-butted a guy during sex... I obviously didn't mean to do it, but I felt awful and spent the rest of the time being ridiculously cautious so I didn't nut him. There are so many downsides to being the clumsiest burd ever.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by kappa99 on Tue 27 Dec 2011, 3:53 am

blissof89 wrote:
kapslock wrote:ive jizzed blood a couple of times. Went to the docs thinkin i had caught somethin but apparently it can just happen....

Shocked

Yep. Hemato-spermia or something its called. Apparently it happens to most guys once, at most twice in there lives.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by theCRUNGE on Tue 27 Dec 2011, 10:18 am

holy fuck thats brutal
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Malky on Wed 28 Dec 2011, 12:04 pm

kapslock wrote:
blissof89 wrote:
kapslock wrote:ive jizzed blood a couple of times. Went to the docs thinkin i had caught somethin but apparently it can just happen....

Shocked

Yep. Hemato-spermia or something its called. Apparently it happens to most guys once, at most twice in there lives.
It happens when you listen to A too much, they're too mental.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by ChumbaWumba on Wed 28 Dec 2011, 12:34 pm

Or when you listen to really really gay music. Your masculine body thinks you want to be a woman and well yeah.

I dread to think what all this One Direction listening is gonna do to me...
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Malky on Thu 29 Dec 2011, 12:56 pm

ChumbaWumba wrote:Or when you listen to really really gay music. Your masculine body thinks you want to be a woman and well yeah.

I dread to think what all this One Direction listening is gonna do to me...
This will happen to you
http://forum.ebaumsworld.com/archive/index.php/t-187990.html
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by ChumbaWumba on Thu 29 Dec 2011, 11:28 pm


Holy fuck man, the goddamn tingling.... No
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Jaaakkkeee on Fri 30 Dec 2011, 12:49 am

Due to iTunes shuffle, I once came to VengaBus by VengaBoys.

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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by blissof89 on Sat 31 Dec 2011, 5:45 am


I feel like I need to erase my internet history, and my memory.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Charn on Sat 31 Dec 2011, 6:32 am

Jaaakkkeee wrote:Due to iTunes shuffle, I once came to VengaBus by VengaBoys.
Amazing.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Malky on Sat 31 Dec 2011, 11:39 pm

Thank Jack for sending me that nullo story btw, I got sent that about 18 months ago and it still hangs in my brain
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by Jed on Wed 04 Jan 2012, 1:49 am

I've been whacked round the face with a used jonny multiple times when I was with my ex. I've got her back several times with the same thing though. Worst place we shagged was probably the shed at the bottom of my grandparents garden or my cousins kitchen with something like Scrapheap Challenge on in the background. It felt all kinds of wrong.
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by kappa99 on Wed 04 Jan 2012, 2:51 am

ChumbaWumba wrote:

Holy fuck man, the goddamn tingling.... No
God almighty
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

Post by beth on Wed 04 Jan 2012, 5:12 am

Jed wrote:I've been whacked round the face with a used jonny multiple times when I was with my ex. I've got her back several times with the same thing though. Worst place we shagged was probably the shed at the bottom of my grandparents garden or my cousins kitchen with something like Scrapheap Challenge on in the background. It felt all kinds of wrong.
You think Scrapheap Challenge is wrong? Try Songs Of Praise being on in the background. Hallelujah indeed!
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Re: The Sex Thread (may be NSFW in places)

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